Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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