Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
