So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize