he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
