Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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