you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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