Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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