i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
