I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
