I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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