You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
