Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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