i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
