i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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