What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
