worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
