I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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