you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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