Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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