How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
