Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize