stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
