Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
