kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize