Those balls look pretty dangerous.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
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I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
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Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize