There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
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It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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