You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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