too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize