and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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