youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
