So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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