I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
