I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
