I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
