God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize