Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
