Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
