I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
