apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
