just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
