Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
