you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
