Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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