Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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