Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize