KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
