Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I could fuck to npr.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
