i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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