just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hippo gnu deer
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
