weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
