Quick, to the slutcave!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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