I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
