You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
