i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
please come you make the beer taste better
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
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