ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
