I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
