keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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