i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize