I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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