well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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