I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I am mentally ready for anal.
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