I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
