Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize