Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
ok first of all what the fuck
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
