the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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